Finding The Reason

Christmas can be hard for a lot of people.  I've held a lot of my feelings in because I know they're no where near as intense as they could be - I have my husband this time around.  I've spent Christmas 7,000 miles from my best friend and love of my life.  He came home to me, so again, I shouldn't complain.  But I struggle, as this has been our third (I think, I may have lost count) Christmas in a row where we didn't go home to see our extended family.  This year we don't have anyone planning to visit like we did last year.  So it's been a very quiet Christmas, and that's been a little hard to swallow.  It has been stress-free, which is great, but no Christmas parties leading up to the big day...growing up, Christmas was 4-5 weeks of weekend get-togethers, Christmas tree hunting, cousin-only parties, family Christmas with 40+ people, cookie baking and house decorating to the sounds of Handel's Messiah.  I mainly miss the people.  But today I almost felt Christmassy... 

We took the kids to Christmas in Ice at the North Pole and played on the ice slides.

...Had our annual fudge and fancy coffee/hot chocolate.

At home I made Christmas cookie dough so we can make cut-outs tomorrow, the children made a huge mess on the kitchen counter with the bowl of pumpkin seeds they found.  Oh well, it kept them quiet-well not quiet, distracted is the better word.  The aftermath was a little ridiculous.  Yes those are pumpkin seeds scattered all over the floor, and yes, he is "frog-hopping" through them...

The best part was the impromptu Skype with my parents and my brother and his lady.  I got to clarify my cookie dough recipe, and MeMe got to read a few Christmas books to a semi-grouchy Bug.  And she got to "boop" everyone as we said our good-byes for the night.

I feel a little warm and fuzzy, but not quite like I feel I should.  I've been re-learning my Catholic faith and trying to focus on the fact that Advent (the month of December) is a build up to Christmas and the Epiphany (Jan 6th - I think).  Christmas isn't just one day, it's a month of preparation, making your heart and mind ready to truly understand what Christmas is.  Even if one isn't Christian I think it's a healthy habit to take time out of your year to stop and assess your "inner goodness".  Christmas to some is Christ centered, but to others it can simply be a time to be good to others and focus on the volunteering and smile more at everyone.  If our hearts and minds are in a good place because you spent 4 weeks giving of yourself and really reflecting on if your life is a happy one and making the changes you see fit, then that day of celebration on December 25th can be relieving and happy and joyous, you worked hard for 4 weeks and now you can celebrate how good it feels to be good and loving to others.  Right?  Am I way off base?  Not that I'm trying to turn Advent secular, maybe I am just trying to make Christmas more that just one day to the rest of the world.  Just with anything else, the more time you put in, the better your end product will be.

I'm working on an Advent Angel for next year, (similar to the Elf on the Shelf) but our Angel will introduce a character trait each day (humility, sharing, kindness, etc...) in the hopes that we can make ourselves better to help make the world we touch a better place.  

Merry Christmas Season.  Happy Advent.  Prepare your heart, your head, your soul, whatever you think you have.  It's just a good habit to get into, making your self better, don't fall into a rut of never looking in the mirror and making sure you're the person you always wanted to be.  Now is the time - now is the season!