Day 2. February 2nd 2014

I think today I truly didn't want to smile. It seemed cliche to do so...sadly.  Or maybe it didn't feel genuine because I was feeling so bitter in general.  At one point I found myself thinking, "how can I enjoy this if no one else has actively told me they enjoy me or what I've done all day?"  Wow.  Looking back on the day I deserved a big slap in the face.  Where does this pride come from?  Pride that isn't rooted in someone else, ugly pride in myself that has turned into entitlement...gross.  It's probably a good thing I didn't blog this day, and slept on these emotions a bit.  Because with a fresh mind I can tell myself there's nothing wrong with these emotions, they are normal and expected.  It's what we do with the emotions that bury us.  It's a good thing I didn't do anything to intensely, my actions probably would have been really misplaced if I had tried with much effort.  And now I'll stop beating myself up, because I know everyone has these days, we are allowed.  It's just a learning curve as to whether we can recognize it and react accordingly and appropriately. 

I couldn't be more thankful that I have a family that is patient and loves me!

The Start Of A New Journey

As a family we have been handed a huge plate of options, neither of which I'm thrilled about (all for different reasons of course), and this giant plate has become the source of much indecision and heart ache, and I can feel it starting to weigh me down. I'm sure these many new options will rear their ugly heads in due time as I sift through them one at a time...

Until I can wrap my head around this new and unnerving path we seem to be facing I'm going to make sure I can still smile, and recognize goodness and love and all those little things that make putting up with plates of crap situations well worth it in the end.

From experience I know that if I practice it, my mind and body will make it permanent. So on to practice. The practice of "hunting the good stuff" as the Army calls it. I just call it being optimistic. Monty Python has a catching little jingle that comes to mind - about always looking on the bright side of life (or death). If you know British humor, you are whistling the tune now...

My morning was trash, actually the spiral started Thursday when a very good friend fell and broke her arm. It just set in motion a feeling of slipping behind, unable to hold onto the commitments I have made to God, my family, friends, clients, and myself...but I had friends show their support by (whether they knew it or not) conveniently offering what I needed. Some of these friends were just down the road, others were thousands of miles away. But the offer to sit quietly with my husband and not worry whether someone was going to throw a fork across the table during dinner was perfect. Knowing my kids were equally happy was a weight off my shoulders.

And watching those friends whom I've built a history with over the years give something that I love a try even at the risk of looking silly, even if it's more for their benefit really, I found the attempt to relate to my love of yoga uplifting. I'm sure no one took a picture of their rear end specifically to make me smile, but it made me smile. Thank you for your selflessness :)

Finding The Reason

Christmas can be hard for a lot of people.  I've held a lot of my feelings in because I know they're no where near as intense as they could be - I have my husband this time around.  I've spent Christmas 7,000 miles from my best friend and love of my life.  He came home to me, so again, I shouldn't complain.  But I struggle, as this has been our third (I think, I may have lost count) Christmas in a row where we didn't go home to see our extended family.  This year we don't have anyone planning to visit like we did last year.  So it's been a very quiet Christmas, and that's been a little hard to swallow.  It has been stress-free, which is great, but no Christmas parties leading up to the big day...growing up, Christmas was 4-5 weeks of weekend get-togethers, Christmas tree hunting, cousin-only parties, family Christmas with 40+ people, cookie baking and house decorating to the sounds of Handel's Messiah.  I mainly miss the people.  But today I almost felt Christmassy... 

We took the kids to Christmas in Ice at the North Pole and played on the ice slides.

...Had our annual fudge and fancy coffee/hot chocolate.

At home I made Christmas cookie dough so we can make cut-outs tomorrow, the children made a huge mess on the kitchen counter with the bowl of pumpkin seeds they found.  Oh well, it kept them quiet-well not quiet, distracted is the better word.  The aftermath was a little ridiculous.  Yes those are pumpkin seeds scattered all over the floor, and yes, he is "frog-hopping" through them...

The best part was the impromptu Skype with my parents and my brother and his lady.  I got to clarify my cookie dough recipe, and MeMe got to read a few Christmas books to a semi-grouchy Bug.  And she got to "boop" everyone as we said our good-byes for the night.

I feel a little warm and fuzzy, but not quite like I feel I should.  I've been re-learning my Catholic faith and trying to focus on the fact that Advent (the month of December) is a build up to Christmas and the Epiphany (Jan 6th - I think).  Christmas isn't just one day, it's a month of preparation, making your heart and mind ready to truly understand what Christmas is.  Even if one isn't Christian I think it's a healthy habit to take time out of your year to stop and assess your "inner goodness".  Christmas to some is Christ centered, but to others it can simply be a time to be good to others and focus on the volunteering and smile more at everyone.  If our hearts and minds are in a good place because you spent 4 weeks giving of yourself and really reflecting on if your life is a happy one and making the changes you see fit, then that day of celebration on December 25th can be relieving and happy and joyous, you worked hard for 4 weeks and now you can celebrate how good it feels to be good and loving to others.  Right?  Am I way off base?  Not that I'm trying to turn Advent secular, maybe I am just trying to make Christmas more that just one day to the rest of the world.  Just with anything else, the more time you put in, the better your end product will be.

I'm working on an Advent Angel for next year, (similar to the Elf on the Shelf) but our Angel will introduce a character trait each day (humility, sharing, kindness, etc...) in the hopes that we can make ourselves better to help make the world we touch a better place.  

Merry Christmas Season.  Happy Advent.  Prepare your heart, your head, your soul, whatever you think you have.  It's just a good habit to get into, making your self better, don't fall into a rut of never looking in the mirror and making sure you're the person you always wanted to be.  Now is the time - now is the season!

A Passenger Collecting Memories

Well, I think it's safe to say, winter has fallen here in the Deep Dark Interior.  I was worried how I would handle our second winter.  You may think that's odd, but I'm really good at living through things for the first time because I'm excellent at not having expectations if I truly don't have an prior experience.  Bug- first kid - I consider her a breeze, Miles - second kid- is nothing like her and drives me batty.  Alaskan winter #1, wasn't that bad at all in my opinion, but I'm going in to winter #2 knowing what a full beautiful summer of 5Ks and 21hours of sunlight and grilling on my 400sq ft deck feels like and also knowing what -45 feels like.  But- I'm also armed with two new things that couldn't have me more excited.  My YOGA and my EOs! 

There is a small part of me that is actually excited...(believe it or not) to get into the meat of this winter.  I'm not worried about the buttoned up house, I have an even more air-tight home than last winter (thanks Interior Weatherization!) but I'm not worried about re-breathing germs, I have the coolest oil blend - Purify.  It cleans the air, it's amazing.  I keep a paper towel taped to the top of the door frame of the room where the cat's litter box is, every couple days I put a drop of Purify oil on the paper towel and I don't smell his litter box.  I don't smell anything!  Which is why I love this oil, I don't cover up the stink like febreeze or some other kind of spray, these little oil molecules are actually breaking up the "gunk" floating around in the air.

I work in a child care program once a week (sometimes twice) where my kids (and myself) are exposed to 11-16 other kids (little kids who put everything and everyone in their mouth at every opportunity) and I don't cringe anymore when someone licks my toddler.  I know I have this arsenal to fight germs with now and I can instead enjoy the amusement on his face from being licked by another kid!  Caitlin is the same way, she had a few kids in her school diagnosed with hand and foot, she came out without an issue-and she is my social butterfly who helps everyone with their work and probably touches every item in the classroom that isn't nailed down... I feel like I was getting in a one month on, one month off pattern with colds and it was exhausting, I couldn't find any routine, I felt like the Alaskan Air was not clear and fresh, it was full of germs and it made me throw up all the time!  We're all going on 3 months ish without anything more than the sniffles.  It's empowering and freeing.  I feel like I can reach out and add activities to our schedule, everyone is sleeping well, so our days are fighting-free (between Bug and I at least, Miles hasn't caught on yet) things. are. great.

They say diets should be life style changes, not just changes to your food choices, and that's really hard for some people.  EOs have fit so very easily into my life in just the three short months I've been using them, it's kinda cool.  The kitchen is the heart of our house, outside of a good long sleep, the kitchen is the next room I spend the most time in, I work at the dining room table, I cook, I eat, I sweep 3 times a day in that room, it's the room we enter and leave the house from...my oils have their very own spot in the kitchen, so that means they aren't going anywhere :)

I try not to be a control freak (I feel like I've started many paragraphs with that phrase...) but feeling like I'm not reacting to outside events, always on the defensive going through life, is pretty sweet.  I don't need to have control of where I'm going and what we're doing, but to be a passenger without any worries provides an incredible view and makes for easy memories of the most beautiful things in my life!

Journey Naturally

I suppose it's time to come out of the closet with my new possible business venture. I say possible because I still can't wrap my mind around the possibility that I could ever 'own' a business. I'm not even sure where to start to explain how this little idea began and how it's grown this big. My husband may not even be aware of how much I've committed to this idea! I'll start with the ideas that I'm falling in love with...

YOGA. In my eyes 10 years ago, yoga was this concept that was for crunchy hippies that had enough money to go to class. I was a wanna-be, naive, crunchy, financially strapped, hippie that had no idea what the world actually was. 4 years later I took my first yoga class in college during my most stressful semester, specifically to work a guaranteed break into my schedule. I got to keep my yoga mat (to this day it's held up and is the one I use regularly) and the priceless lesson on how to BREATHE. In a world that is so fast paced and callus and mean and uncaring, I truly believe the secret to life is remembering to breathe. Whether you depend on a god or God or your own inner strength to get up every morning, you won't ever get to that point if you don't remember to slow down, and breathe. I don't care if you can't stretch your arm over your head, or touch your toes, I strive every time I walk into a yoga class to remind my students to stretch your rib cage when you breathe, fill your belly, satisfy your muscles and your mind with the one free, absolutely necessary component this Earth provides for us. So yea, I like yoga. If you give it a chance, you will too.

dōTERRA Essential Oils. A few years ago, at a Women's Conference in Louisiana, I was introduced to essential oils. I feel in love with the idea of no chemicals, using the things nature gives us, it seemed so perfect and easy, and in my opinion natural is always better - no matter which way you shake it. Well, I was jumping into the world (an expensive one-mind you) on my own with only my own personal research to guide me. I'm a research fiend, but I was struggling with this one. Essential oils are expensive because it takes a lot of plant and time and effort to squeeze out that pure oil and fill a small bottle with it. The beauty of essential oils is they can be used for just about anything and everything under the sun. Well, I got overwhelmed and worried I was wasting my money because I didn't know how to use each oil in it's most efficient manner. Since I didn't have a source of income and a brand new baby, I set essential oils in the back of the linen closet hoping to come back to them some day. That day was about 2 months ago. A friend invited me to a class put on through the company dōTERRA. I was hooked, and slightly appalled I didn't know this company existed, apparently I had missed the whole boat and was floating around in a tiny dingy paddling in circles when this huge glorious cruise liner was only a mile off (yup, the cruise liner is ironic since they aren't very eco friendly-don't take my analogy that literal, I didn't jump on a pollution bandwagon!)

The quick history of dōTERRA: they broke off of another company that has been around for 20+ years due to corporate decision differences. People just wanted to run their business differently, so they did.

Why dōTERRA? They have created an industry standard where there wasn't one. Yes, they created it for their purpose and they regulate themselves, but no one else in the oil business has created such a standard. dōTERRA does not own the farms they get the plants from, they leave the growing to the experts that know how to grow the plants, they only collect plants from their indigenous locations (obviously a happy plant will produce the most oil, us humans do our best when we are in our most happy place, right?), once harvested and bottled they use 3^rd party labs to test the oils. These processes are all transparent and available for the common lay person to see. Most other oil companies only need to meet “Therapeutic Grade” or “Food Grade” by FDA standards and that means only 3% of the bottle needs to be essential oil, meaning 97% of the reaming liquid could be anything short of arsenic...it could simply by water or olive oil, allowing their product to be cheaper, and therefore much less effective and depending on what is diluting the oil incredibly harmful for your body. 

Now that's all on the table, the combination of dōTERRA EOs and YOGA (and this blog of making life an enjoyable 'Journey') has snowballed itself into the collective term: 

Journey Naturally

There is a business card and an expansion of two more yoga classes, and a steady income between teaching and sharing EOs.  It's all really crazy in my eyes, almost too good to be true.  I'm treading lightly and trying my best to make sure all my bases are covered, between taking care of my family (always and forever my 1st priority), going to Mass on Sundays, and not getting into legal trouble of any kind :)  So keep a look out for a Facebook page and webpage farther down the line!  

If you ever have any questions, there's nothing I can't find answers to when it comes to supplementing your own Journey with yoga or EOs :)  Feel free to browse my dōTERRA site to see what they have to offer:

Journey Naturally The doTERRA Way 

Namaste & God Bless! 

Look at the Bigger Picture here...

I first want to say thank you to anyone that wrote to a congressman or senator begging the military be exempt from this government shutdown. It seemed that once the country realized their soldiers were at risk for missing out on a pay check, action was taken to soften the blow for us. Even though our family would have been just fine, its comforting to see the outpouring.  The scary part is just how evident it is that so many people don't care until things are on the line. No one wants to put in the leg work to help prevent problems, they just want one person and his cabinet of advisors to magically come to a solution that fits every individual to a T.

Shame on you. Get informed. Care. Stand up.

This country has had some major problems that have never been a secret, for years now. And all anyone seems to do is brush them under the rug or put them on the back burner. Well the camel's back broke finally.  And Obama was not the one holding decades of straw... I'm not defending him by any means, but we (the American public) are all just as much at fault.

There is such a lack of caring that has infected our world it's becoming a poison to our children and it's blinded our ability to do seemingly anything with any integrity.  People don't care about a topic unless it has slapped them in the face and made off with their pay check. People, this is our wake up call, start caring, show some consideration for yourself, for your neighbor, and let the ripple effect take off. If we cared out the world outside of our front door maybe 1/2 of our welfare issues would never come to be. Maybe we would have more people with productive governmental theories step up and share. Maybe with a little more love and generosity we would have less gun issues.  Clearly over my lifetime the, selfish, every-man-for-himself, blinder attitude has gotten us so far into a hole we can't seem to operate at a basic level.

I don't anticipate changing the world by sharing my opinion, but if one person cares to love a little bit more and/or say "I don't care" one less time, I will sleep a little better.  It's not about politics, it's about changing our attitudes in general. It's a much larger picture, open your eyes.

"Winter Time" - Steve Miller Band

Well Hello!!!

I very much want to get back into my updates via this blog, not Facebook.  So, instead of trying to catch up over the past year, I'm going to just start working backward from where we are today :)

My latest revelation is how big our little girl has gotten.  Most of you may know she started pre-school at the end of August.  After 6 months of debates and number crunching and wearing my husband down ;-), we enrolled Bug in a Montessori program.  Our biggest concern was running into the situation where she would choose to put together a puzzle for 3 hours day after day instead of choosing a variety of activities that would in turn teach her many things.  The Montessori argument to this is that the child needs to learn the skill the puzzle is teaching them.  And once the child masters the skill, they will move on to other activities.  Well, I'm am more than happy to say that is not the case.  It's been just about a month of a good solid routine for her, and the things I'm seeing warm my heart more than I could ever imagine.  When we walk down the hall, she greets her classmates by name with a wave and a big smile, when I pick her up numerous kids want to say good-bye and give her a big hug.  She clears the table of her dishes and asks if the dishwasher is clean or dirty (and puts dishes in the dishwasher if they are dirty).  She has always wanted to be independent, but never seemed to know how to ask to do something on her own or how to do something on her own.  She asked me this afternoon while I was making her lunch if she could make her own sandwich.  I have seen a change in her interactions with her brother, she plays with him more and wants to be involved with him more...some of these things may just be here growing up, but there is something that leads me to believe it's what she has learned while she's been at school.  We don't get much feedback from her about what she does in a day (which is common at this age), if there is a product from her activity (like a painting) she will tell us about it, but when she does tell us about activities she is thorough and detailed and proud :)

I just never imagined at 3.5 she would be potty trained (through the night), brushing her teeth, changing her clothes, clearing her dishes, pouring her own drinks, drawing pictures on blank paper, and asking to learn to tie shoes...My favorite part is watching her interact with other adults and kids.  She sometimes asks really outrageous questions that don't make any sense (she is 3...) but watching her follow the electrician through the house, grilling him about what he is doing, and then reporting everything back to me in a very matter-of-fact tone is rather amusing.  :)

My personal life has gotten busy.  It would be easier to list my part-time jobs:
CrossFit Fairbanks yoga instructor (2 hours a week)
CrossFit North Pole yoga instructor (1 hour, maybe more a week)
Child Care worker for PWOC (3 hours a week)
Website manager for a construction company (2-7 hours a week)
I'm also play-dough Mom at school for August and September (maybe October)
I have started washing the linens for the Church on Post
And I've picked up a women's Bible study at Church

It's all become the perfect balance of volunteer and work, I feel like everyone gets a little piece of Libby and I don't feel overwhelmed.  I've learned that when you're overwhelmed and overworked, you're maybe doing something wrong, or your priorities/intentions are in the wrong place.  When you're on the right path, things will settle where they need to be and you will be used where you are needed :)

I am currently in the process of incorporating Essential Oils into our daily life.  I've already dabbled in using them for common colds, fever, bruises, congestion, coughs and cleaning and I'm loving every second of it.  I hate how cleaning agents make my hands crack and peel, I hate the idea of the kids walking around on bleach cleaned floors, and I love that I can alleviate sore muscles for the hubby and stop spending money on over the counter meds that are synthetic and sugary.  There will probably be a lot more to come on this!!

It's taken a year and a half of being in Alaska, but now that we have experienced a winter and a summer, and have settled in to being a family of 4, I'm so happy our Army Journey has taken us here.  It's been a long sometimes out of breath feeling journey to get to this point, but I finally feel like I'm living the life I am supposed to be living.  Don't worry, I don't want to retire in Alaska!  I am just loving the experience of being here, I feel prepared and loved and successful :)