"Road Trippin'" - Red Hot Chili Peppers

The total trip from Louisiana to Fairbanks will take us somewhere between 5,300 to 5,967 miles.  The variation comes from Chad doing the calculation one way (claiming the ferry voucher lists the distance we cover on the water), and my calculation of what it would take to drive instead of taking the ferry.  Either way, our first stretch of drive to Lansing was 1,181 miles.  And depending on who you ask, that is 19.8%-25% of our total trip.
Here is a snap shot of what the first 22.4% of the trip looked like:

Friday 7:30am
2 miles on the highway, we hear a loud 'thwump'.
Me: did we hit something?
Chad: no, it was something with the hood. Is it unlatched???
Marvin: MEEERRROOOWWW
Caitlin: hack, hack, sneeze, gag, cough.

Lesson #1, make sure your car hood is fully latched before driving 1,000+ miles.

7:40am
We discover that TomTom is unresponsive, and the atlas is most likely on its way to Alaska without us...ugh that packing company...

8:20am
The atlas was where it was supposed to be. Right next to the pregnant lady...I swear it was incognito!

Lesson #2, verify your maps are in the car and your GPS unit is fully functional and up to date.

9:35am
TomTom decided to join us just north of Texarkana. He required some odd combination of unplugging and resetting...

10:30am
The pathetically sick kid in the backseat finally falls asleep. She continues to cough in her sleep and snore rather loudly. It breaks Mama's heart :(

2:00pm-ish
We made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in a grocery store parking lot just north of Memphis. Caitlin ate a cold hot dog (just about the only thing she has had more than 2 bites of in the last two days). Marvin still hates us, but is keeping his opinion, rather nicely, to himself.

5:00pm-ish 
Dinner (aka peanut butter sandwiches again) in a McDonald's parking lot.

10:45pm 
Marvin looses his cool.   And he's making it very known.

Lesson #3, don't forget to feed your cat!! He is not likely to forgive you even if you feed him 5 hours later. He will hold that grudge...

Saturday 4:45am 
Arrival at our destination at last. Sweet dreams world!

"Easy Living" - Miranda Lambert

I remember one of those cold winter evenings in Michigan, I was walking out of a department store on Christmas Eve with my brother and my Dad.  The wind was blowing a thousand miles an hour, the damp air felt like icicles on my eye balls, and I couldn't get to the car fast enough.  I ran to the car only to watch my Dad slowly saunter towards us - in no hurry to unlock it, with his coat open and flapping in the wind.

PSYCHO!

The next sentence out of his mouth stuck with me for some reason, even though at the time, it made him even more psycho in my eyes.  He said: "You just have to embrace the cold!" while holding his arms up in the air.

It wasn't until years later after my many trials of high school, my many struggles of living in the "real world" post college, and the roller coaster world of the Army did that sentence start to make sense.  I realized on "recovery days" during the deployment (ones spent pulling myself out of the deep end as a result of the day before) if I hadn't had cared so much about what my house looked like or if my daughter took a bath, I wouldn't have stressed myself out, I wouldn't have cried myself to sleep, and I wouldn't be dragging myself out of bed trying to muster the strength to try again.  If I had just embraced the fact that houses get messy and realized I'm human and given myself a little more allowance to be the tired spouse of a deployed soldier, I maybe would have gone to bed feeling, tired-and proud to be a spouse of a deployed soldier, not stressed and frustrated.  My point - don't let the cold get to you.  Yes, it gets cold.  There is nothing I can do about the weather, there is nothing I can do about the way someone drives their car in front of me, there is nothing I can do about the fire ants that live in the southern half of the United States.  I've heard this a lot: "If you don't like something that you can't change, change your attitude about the said thing". 

So, the night before the movers come to load our boxes on the truck, Caitlin gets a temperature of 103.  She's never had a fever more than about 100.  I assume all of our medicine is packed, and without looking at the linen closet, I open one of the boxes that I think should contain the tylenol-no medicine.  I am now irritated.  1, because the box I just opened is not marked adequately for my taste now that I know what was in it and 2, because I still don't have tylenol.  Hubby suggest that I look in the closet.  I do.  It's FULL.  All of my medicine, pills, liquids, lotions, creams, all still there.  Not a single thing packed.  Really?  I can't move to Alaska with ANY of my cold medicines or baby orajel, I can't even take chapstick!  Now I'm really irritated.  Chad walked out of the room after saying 3 words: "I'm over it."

Embrace the cold.

It is what it is.  Yes, it may be crap.  But I can't change crap into gold.  I can control how I see crap though.  At that moment when you really do let it go and "get over it", the weight lifts off your shoulders, the knots in your stomach loosen, and your vision clears.  We'll just be more picky about what we buy when we are in Alaska so we don't run into this issue on such a large scale.  Simple enough for me.

Things are much easier to stomach when you embrace the ugly.  When the movers still had not loaded a single box on the truck after being in the house for over two hours, I was easily able to say "these guys are nincompoops, at least they aren't in charge of something irreplaceable like my daughter" I was happy to then leave and get coffee without stressing about not being there to watch their every move.  I was able to focus on other things, like getting Caitlin out of the house to do something she wanted to do for once in the last 3 days, and coffee.  All weekend without my coffee maker was kind of cruel.

Anyway, my point.  (I try to always have one).  You don't have to like everything that happens to your life.  But you do have to acknowledge that it's there.  I promise you, acknowledgement is 90% of the battle.  Sometimes the other 10% is the acceptance that there is no way around the pain or discomfort or irritation and that will be the hardest to swallow, but it only gets easier once you start doing it.  And the freedom you will find in the whole situation is pretty awesome.

Living is easy  and joyful when you take the pressure off yourself to do it perfectly.  Then you can enjoy lunches on the floor with your husband that look like this and not feel guilty or weird! :)    

"Keep On Moving" - Five

I first apologize for the lack of blogging.  I got all excited back in January when we found out we would be PCSing and then over the last 4 months all we had to do was pretty much hurry up and wait (what else do you do in the Army?).  The last few weeks everyone has been asking if I've been getting things ready for the big PCS, but honestly, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be doing.  Until the movers showed up...it all seemed so clear at that moment...

I was having a hard time really grasping what I could do ahead of time to ease the "stress" or alleviate any "mistakes" that the packers/movers could make.  But once the ladies showed up the morning of the 4th, all of a sudden it was blatantly obvious and I wanted them to go away for maybe 4 more hours so I could organize things into better piles.  Nope, they actually rang the doorbell 40 min earlier than expected and we had just woken up Bug and had just started breakfast, so I had dirty dishes and a slightly grouchy kid, and was feeling REALLY overwhelmed.

I had this perfect image of each room having a "necessity box" that contained just the very essential items that we would need for the week we were still at Fort Polk and the time we were in Alaska waiting for our household goods.  These would be neatly organized and easily packed in the car.  I tell you, the image I had in my mind was spotless and pristine and would have thousands of "repins" on Pinterest if I had posted the concept complete with "packing lists".  But alas, Friday came and it was NOTHING near to what I had envisioned, I felt like I had only half accomplished all of my packing and organizing goals-which is almost more frustrating than not doing anything at all...

But the day came and went and there isn't anything I can do about it now.  The whole point of this blog isn't to complain, it's to find Joy.  So here it is:

Saturday was the first morning I had to be creative. The packing lady who did the kitchen was a bit zealous. She snagged my chef knife, citrus peeler, and cheese grater before I even knew what happened (all things I had specific plans for in the necessity boxes). She even managed to sneak our salt and pepper-open, mind you-into a box. Really, lady.

Anyway, I hate plain unseasoned eggs, but I had bacon, and a frying pan, a spatula, eggs and leftover steak that no one liked when we first grilled it. I cooked it all in one pan. Scrambled eggs, Bacon, steak bites (cut painstakingly with a butter knife), all on the stovetop. Since we finished off the bread the day before, and saw we had hot dog buns to use, I cut them in half, buttered them and toasted a couple up as "toast sticks". I'm kind of impressed with myself :)

After breakfast we decided to make use of the billions of boxes in the house.  Mainly, we just needed them out of the main walk ways.  Not to complain again, but they left really heavy boxes in the most inopportune places around the house.  And I have a 6 month pregnant belly I'm trying to navigate with... Anyway, we found a decent use for all the boxes.  I'm sure Bug would have agreed :)

"Up!" - Shania Twain

On Monday (the 9th) I received a phone call from my OB nurse who had finally reviewed my latest ultrasound.  I knew immediately it wasn't going to be great news-she doesn't call to see what I had for lunch...

At this point, it's not horrible news.  But I have been diagnosed with partial placenta previa (I won't go into the details of what it is, the link will explain if you're in need of a diagram...).  It won't be horrible news (in my book) until 4 weeks or so from now, and that's if my placenta doesn't move "north" by then, allowing for a natural birth.  C-sections have always scared me.  I'm just such a big believer in things happening the way they should, granted I'm not saying I want to attempt to have this child without medical interference at the risk of my own life...I'm just going to be a mess mentally if we are faced with the complications that will result if my placenta doesn't take a hike.

So what does this mean now?  Well, in vague terms - pelvic rest.  It's bed rest, but I don't have to be in bed.  I haven't had any issues so far in the last 23 weeks, so my rest might be a little more lenient.  Probably no more walking just to walk, it really means no more of the mile jogs that I've been doing :(.  I will probably have a lifting weight restriction, which could be anywhere from 5-10lbs.  Bug is going to be disappointed.

Anyway, I won't know my exact limitations are until a couple days from now when I get to talk with my nurse.  It's all just a little disheartening.  Things were going to swimmingly, and this was kind of the last thing we needed 3 weeks out from starting our PCS.

Is there joy in this journey????  I get another ultrasound in 4 weeks...?  This will be definitely be a lesson in patience and learning how to let go of worry, which whether I like it or not, will be good for me.  And down the line I'll look back and be glad I didn't ruin 3 weeks of my life with my family stressing out over something I have absolutely no control over.  Is that a stretch?  I feel like I'm reaching a little bit, but I guess if you want joy you have to work for it, huh?  Find it and make it if it's not right in front of your face - that's the struggle we face in today's world.  No one wants to work for Joy, they would rather settle for living without it.

So, here we go, 3 weeks of finding Joy while moving in slow motion!

   

"Dogs" (The Girl That Does Yoga) - Damien Rice

The alarm goes off at 0430 on Friday morning.  It could be graduation day for us!  Us being the 8 other women that I have had the pleasure of getting to know very well over the last 7 days-and will miss immensely.  And graduation from Lex Gillan's Yoga Teacher Training in Houston, Tx. 

I groggily get ready for the day, make some chai tea, pack my "school bag".  Grab the car keys and my lunch and head out into the foggy morning to meet my new car pool friend.  I got very lucky to find that one of the girls in the course lived right by my Aunt and Uncle (where we were staying for the week) and was happy to carpool for the week too and from class.  I was thrilled to have an experienced Houston highway driver to navigate the HOV lanes and toll roads, especially on the way home every afternoon at 4:30!

Rose and I pulled into the Texas Medical Institute of Spirituality and Health at about 6am, we had 50 min to kill before our meditation, so I practiced teaching my three asanas (sanskrit term for poses if you were curious), and quized myself on the 8 limbs of yoga.

I offered to be the "official" photographer for the class, so instead of following instruction as each person led their own mini yoga class, I got to stand back and look at the whole picture-literally :)  It gave me the chance to reflect on my last 7 days there.  As hard as it was to get up at 4:30 every morning, leave my little girl sleeping without a hug and kiss until I got back at dinner, and sit on the floor all day trying to absorb everything I possibly could, I wouldn't have changed a thing.  The mountains of knowledge and wisdom we learned from Lex over the last week was well worth the slight discomfort my butt reminded me of every morning.

I love learning.  I miss college.  And not the online courses, but sitting in a classroom listening to someone passionately speak about something they know inside and out.  Yoga is Lex and Lex is yoga.  I never dreamed that when I signed up for the fitness yoga class back in 2004 as a sophomore in college that I'd be in the place 8 years later that I could be that instructor.  I could drone on and on about what yoga is (most people don't know there is so much more to it than just stretching) and all the business details we learned about opening our own studio, but I'll wait until someone directly asks me for it, then I'll unleash the flood gate :)


I do want to own my own studio someday down the line.  I want to call it Journey Yoga.  Fitting, huh?  Or maybe the Joy of Yoga...I guess it depends on what's available when the day comes.  But I'm so very excited to start building the blueprint for this professional and spiritual journey that I know I'm going to depart on someday.

Namaste.

"On The Bumpy Road to Love" - Judy Garland

When I get too caught up with myself, the world does a pretty good job at reminding me that it's not all about just me.  I'm not the only one who struggles in finding the joy in some of the journeys in life.  And as a Mom, I also have the responsibility of helping that small child of ours find joy in every mini journey she goes through.  It's so much more important for her to enjoy her journeys as a toddler than it is for me at this stage in my life.  My world view is already shaped, hers is not.  I want it to be second nature for her to see the happiness and the good in some of the worst scenarios she will encounter as she grows up.

Potty training has proven to be a bumpy road for us.  No one is finding the joy in this learning journey...  And Mom will take full credit for that.  We were going strong, about four months before Dad redeployed.  But at this time, I was more or less playing around with it, I knew it was early, but she seemed to really be grasping the concept.  And then Dad came home, and we had a big long vacation, and then the holidays hit, and it seemed we completely regressed to the opposite spectrum.  We spent a week fighting anything potty related, followed that with a nasty yeast rash, and we have followed that up with possibly being okay with diaper changes again.  Talk about full circle.  I'm hesitant to say we're making any progress b/c things change so quickly with this kid.   

I'm trying to remind myself to stay calm and not stress out over such things.  The past few years have taught me that things fall easily into place the way they are meant to be without much effort if we just let them.  I think I may need to paint "Find the Joy" on every wall in our next home as a constant reminder.  New home decor?...:)

"On My Way" - Phil Collins

I feel like I can finally say our Alaskan Journey has begun!  Even though we've been "off the record" planning for a good couple of weeks now-things just got really official.

Chad's leave request was approved, so we now know what day we are pulling out of the driveway for the last time.  Since we know that date, we counted to 30 and picked the closest ferry departure date to the end of our leave.  We end up cutting our 30 days of leave a few days short, but we'd prefer to have the extra time in Alaska to house hunt (sorry family, nothing personal) rather than try and rush the drive on the Al-Can highway.  Since we settled on a sailing date, I thought I'd call the ferry line and see if they were available.  They were.  We even got a cabin, I'm sure it will be super high class...it has a shower and sink and toilet, we even have a window :).  We can bring our own food or purchase meals at the cafeteria.  The cat stays in the car and we can visit him every 8 hours (which makes me happy knowing we don't have to worry about Bug letting him out of the cabin...that would make a fun story, I'm sure).

The few weeks leading up to this point have been a bit of a journey all on their own.  We've had a lot of ups and downs, there has been a lot of speculating and tentative planning with back up and back-back up plans.  We originally were going to fly to MI and then fly to AK, have our car shipped and make the cat get himself to AK somehow... This was all going to happen in mid June which put me at about 34-35 weeks pregnant...it was VERY hard to find the joy in that situation.  But things shifted, as they tend to do in a Military Home, and we're all very happy with how the plans are falling together.

In addition to having our ferry reservations, we also have a temporary housing reservation, and a "living wall calendar" that covers the last 60 or so days that we are in Louisiana.  I have phone numbers assigned to each step of the process, I have sticky notes that tell me to sort clothes and the filing and the junk drawers.  The major steps we need to take are still on hold until we get those precious orders in our hands and we can make 15,000 copies of them.  We aren't going to get those orders until Bug and I are cleared of needing any extra medical care of any kind.  I was told that takes 1-2 weeks...we don't have the screening until next week...so we are looking at 3 weeks until we get that coveted piece of paper.  Grumble, grumble. 

The joy in this journey---the fact I can use this as an opportunity to teach my daughter patience by example?  Blah.  I totally understand why she throws temper-tantrums.  That's much more appealing right now...  

I guess I should now go rearrange my sticky notes on the calendar so I'm doing the house organizing over the next two weeks and we'll have the last month to rush through the Army red tape.  Oh Joy :)